Ever heard someone refer to the eyes as “the gateway to the soul”? Seductive eyes are the gateway to even more.
Seduction & The 4 Principles of Hypnosis
For the purposes of seduction, think of the eyes as the pendulums of masterful hypnosis we can control in our daily interactions.
With a pendulum, professional hypnotists rely on four hypnotic principles:
- Focus
- Fatigue
- Pacing and Leading
- Embedding Commands
Hypnosis and seduction may sound like the tactics of a comic book villain or femme fatale – because they are – but these tactics can actually be used by anyone seeking to achieve both ordinary and extraordinary goals in their personal and professional lives. Seduction isn’t always about romance – in fact, we tend to use (or be the target of) a lot of seductive tactics, completely outside of romantic pursuits.
What is seduction?
Seduction, by definition, is the act of luring and enticing individuals away from whatever is currently occupying their focus and drawing them towards someone or something else intended to become their new focus.
Typically, seducers want their targets to give them something. Most seducers want love, attention/influence, status/power, and/or wealth, and know that (in some way or another) their targets have all or some of the access required to grant that which is desired.
Seduction is both the desire to obtain a resource or reaction from someone and the process of acquiring it. The aim of seduction is to influence and entice those in your life, whom you wish to change behaviorally or take something from tangibly, to concede to your influence and enticement.
What is hypnosis?
Hypnosis, by definition, is the “…induction of a state of consciousness in which a person loses all apparent power of voluntary action and is highly responsive to suggestions or directions” from outside himself or herself. These voluntary actions can include individual thought (e.g., attitudes, ideologies, etc.), speech, and even movement.
Hypnosis makes it possible to influence change in one’s thoughts, speech, and actions by embedding new ideas (“commands”) into his or her subconscious to override existing conscious thoughts (e.g., attitudes, ideologies, etc.).
How do we use our eyes for seduction? How can seductive eyes be used for hypnosis?
To make those we wish to seduce more malleable, we might use our eyes (and the principles of hypnosis mentioned previously) to coax and ease our targets. Seductive eyes can rely on the same principles of hypnosis.
1. Focus
In hypnosis, “focus” refers to the act of focusing a participant’s gaze on a single object for a specific duration of time so as to steady his or her thoughts.
For seduction, you can use your own eyes and your target’s eyes as hypnotic tools. To accomplish this, you’ll need the individual you are seducing to look directly into your eyes, as your eyes will become the pendulums he or she is focusing on.
Example:
To achieve this, lock eyes and maintain eye contact with your targets. You establish it, you maintain it. Keep blinking in a natural way, but hold your attention on them to force their attention repeatedly back to you.
2. Fatigue
In hypnosis, “fatigue” refers to the typical feeling someone might have towards directing his or her attention onto a single object for a long duration of time. Fatigue can happen outside of hypnosis and even without the eyes, especially to people stuck in conversations in which their focus is being pulled onto the same subject repeatedly for a long duration of time; we might even call this “boredom” and it usually leads people to seek visual or auditory distraction as a respite.
In matters of seduction, seducers want to curtail their immediate environment to best mitigate all distractions. This way, the seducers themselves can be the focus, the fatigue, and the respite for their targets.
Knowing that your target’s ability to focus solely on you (your eyes and your words) will be hard to maintain for long periods of time, and that his or her inevitable fatigue is likely faster than you wish it to be, choose precisely when and how his or her respite comes.
Knowing your target’s fatigue is inevitable and frequent, use this to your advantage by maintaining eye contact and continuing to speak with an eventual source of relief for him or her to fall into.
Example:
A break from the monotony of seductive eye contact and patterned speech could be as simple as brushing a hair over your shoulder, adjusting your glasses, squeezing the bicep muscle your arm, or twisting a bracelet around your wrist or ring around your finger – it is enough to divert attention, for a moment, and will temporarily shift the target’s attention away from your eyes and what you’re saying. Nevertheless the attention will still be on you.
3. Pacing and Leading
In hypnosis, this principle involves bringing attention to the trance-like state hypnosis is actively creating for the participant and using this awareness to deepen and advance that trance-like state.
In seduction, you can bring a target’s awareness to what he or she is doing (or describe how they are making you feel) to keep them present-minded and focused.
You can even turn your simple observations into compliments.
Examples:
While enjoying dinner with a colleague or romantic partner, you will need to:
- Maintain eye contact while holding light and engaging conversation.
- Occasionally brush your hair aside, or straighten your lapel, to offer relief for fatigue while keeping attention on you.
- Draw his or her attention to the present moment – how he or she is making you feel – by saying something along the lines of:
- “You have been listening to me go on and on this whole time. I appreciate that. You’re an amazing listener.”
In a meeting or a job interview, you will need to:
- Maintain seductive eye contact while offering clear and concise answers or feedback to your interviewer, boss, client, colleague.
- Occasionally look at (and point to) your résumé or other relevant, print documents you have in front of you to draw his or her attention away from your eyes and onto what you’re literally bringing to the table.
- Draw his or her attention to the present moment by saying something like:
- “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me today. You have made feel really [welcomed], [heard], [acknowledged], [valued] here.”
4. Embedding Commands
“Embedding commands” probably sounds like it will be the most risky and threatening part of this entire experiment. In hypnosis, as in seduction itself, subtlety is the key to avoid breaking the spell and dismantling the trance-like state you’ve created. Commands must not be an exception to this nuanced subtlety. As such, I recommend framing commands as personal statements. While this might sound counterintuitive, you must remember that the most vital moments in seduction require you to be the most subtle and unassuming.
Examples of what NOT to say:
- “You need to give me a raise.”
- “You owe me this.”
- “You know I deserve this.”
- “You need to commit to our relationship.”
Examples of what to say:
- “I am grateful to have this opportunity to discuss a wage analysis and review of my résumé with you today.”
- “I believe we can be of mutual contribution and of equal benefit to each other.”
- “I find so much fulfillment in what I do here that I apply myself daily to improvements that I can demonstrate and quantify the results of.”
- “I enjoy the time we spend together because I feel so [comfortable], [safe], [happy], [loved] around you. I know I can count on you.”
Embedding commands is a lot like planting seeds, by sprinkling into conversation all the ideas and behaviors you’d like to cultivate over time. Embedding commands is not nagging, begging, pleading, or demanding anything of anyone. It can involve careful complementation and often relies on positive reinforcement. Making seduced individuals feel appreciated, needed, wanted, and worthy of your attention reinforces their desire to maintain your favorable image of them.
Conclusion
With seductive eyes, we invite newcomers with our states and shun the unwelcome with eye rolls of avoidance or blatant refusal. The eyes are an impressive tool of seduction we can use with existing techniques to further our endeavors.